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"Hey," said Trish's voice over the phone. "Got some news for you." Cathy was surprised by the timing of Trish's call. She was about to make her weekly lunchtime trip to Tony's place when the phone had rung.
"What's that?" Cathy was suddenly very leery. She remembered that Trish had jerked Tracy around, ruining some of her rendezvous with Tony.
"Tony got a new roommate. He moved in yesterday," Trish informed her. At first Cathy didn't understand why that was relevant. "He works nights and Tony won't have the place to himself today."
Cathy suddenly saw the significance of the roommate. Her mind whirled. Couldn't Tony just ask his roommate to disappear for an hour? Was there some other place that Cathy could meet Tony? Certainly not at her own house, but there had to be someplace.
"Sooo," Trish continued, in a strange tone, "you can call it off today and try to figure out something for next week. Or," Trish paused and Cathy felt instant apprehension. She had no idea what Trish was about to say, but the hair on the back of her neck was suddenly standing up.
"Or?" Cathy asked.
"Or you can just go over there and see what you can work out."
"See what I can...? I don't understand," Cathy replied cautiously.
"Talk to Tony," Trish's voice conveyed impatience. "Maybe you can just go in his bedroom and close the door." Cathy somehow suspected that was more to it than that. Why was Trish being so elusive? Something was up.
Either Trish was sabotaging her encounter with Tony in order to manipulate her into some other situation. Or... Or what? Maybe Trish was trying to set up Cathy to do Tony's roommate too? Whatever Trish's game was, the safest way out would be to cancel for today.
But that wasn't so easy. Cathy really hadn't thought of much else since everyone had gone to work and school that morning. She had deliberately put on a sundress that fell just above her knees because it made her feel sexy to suck cock in a short dress. She had watched a video of Tracy twice to help build up her anticipation. She had been picturing that big dick inches from her face, making herself moist with anticipation. No matter how sensible it would be to cancel, Cathy knew it would not be easy to make that decision. She simply didn't want to cancel and her mind was already searching for rationalizations.
"Why can't Tony get his roommate to go out for an hour?" Cathy asked.
"Maybe he can. Go over and ask." Trish's answer was too quick and too simple. It sounded like Trish just wanted to get Cathy to go over there. But if that was the case, why call in the first place? Cathy would have gone. Was this some sort of reverse psychology?
There was some massive head game going on and Cathy couldn't figure it out. Trish was obviously playing her. But the only sure-fire way to derail Trish's schemes would be to not go; for Cathy to deprive herself of something she craved. That alone should have given her the strength to do what she had to--that Trish was banking on Cathy's weakness.
"Maybe I should stay home," Cathy said. Even as she said it, she was thinking about the soft velvety skin of the head of his cock and how it felt on her tongue.
"I'll let Tony know," Trish replied without hesitation. That was it? Cathy was going to have to wait another whole week?
"Wait," she said before Trish could hang up. "What, uh, what do you think I should do?"
"Oh, I don't know." Trish obviously wanted Cathy to go or not go, or something. But she wasn't about to come out and say it.
"Okay, I've got to run." Cathy stood holding the phone in the middle of her kitchen, knowing what she wanted to do but completely baffled as to what she should do.
"Might as well go over there," Trish told her. "If there's no way to do anything, you can at least figure out something for next time."
* * * * *
"Do you remember our conversation a couple weeks ago?" Cathy asked Tracy as the two sat at Tracy 's kitchen table.
"Which one?" Tracy asked.
"You know, when we were talking about fantasies and all. And," Cathy added, "whether or not we needed to find a second guy?"
"Yeah, I remember. Why?" Cathy was watching Tracy 's reactions closely, paying more attention to her expressions and gestures than her words.
"Did you happen to repeat any of it to Trish?" Cathy asked flatly.
"I uh, I may have. I don't, uh, remember anything specific," said Tracy with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Why?"
"Because," Cathy said, pausing for effect. "When I got to Tony's yesterday, want to guess what happened?" Tracy looked at her with a blank expression. "You already know, don't you?"
"Know what?" Tracy asked, protesting. But Cathy saw something in Tracy 's eyes that gave her away.
"You did it again," Cathy replied. She had intended to make it sound more like an accusation, but the words didn't come out that way. They sat in silence for a few long moments. The fact that Tracy did not protest only confirmed her suspicions.
Yesterday, after the confusing call from Trish, Cathy had rationalized that the thing to do was go to Tony's and see what the situation was. She had been greeted at the door by Tony's new roommate, Dave. He was cut from the same cloth as Tony. Fairly tall, good looking in a boy-band kind of way with hair that was meticulously arranged to look disheveled. He wasn't as muscular as Tony and his face was fresher. He looked to be a couple years younger than Tony.
"Tony doesn't really have a new roommate, does he?" Cathy finally asked. Tracy 's silence was answer enough. "Why? Why did you do it?"
"Because you wouldn't have done it for yourself," Tracy finally responded. "And you obviously wanted it." Cathy wasn't about to concede that yesterday had been an incredible experience for her on many levels. Once again she felt the sting of betrayal that tempered the euphoria of her encounter.
"Maybe not. But why do you guys have to, have to... " Cathy wasn't even sure what the right word was. "Push me?"
"We've all kind of pushed each other," Tracy replied. "You think I'd be fucking Tony if Trish hadn't pushed me? And you know I wouldn't be sucking his dick! And, truth be told, I've actually gotten to the point where I almost look forward to that."
"But you set me up," protested Cathy. "You lied, deceived, tricked... call it whatever you want. But it wasn't like you just encouraged me to do it. You weren't honest with me!"
"That's true," admitted Tracy . "I guess we figured the ends justified the means. Maybe we were wrong." Cathy wanted to continue being angry, but that wasn't what she felt. She believed Trish and Tracy had wronged her again, but somehow she didn't feel as much anger as she would have liked. She sat in silence, letting her body language convey a feigned hostility toward Tracy .
"So," Tracy finally said. "Are you going to tell me about it?" Cathy looked up. Tracy had a slight smile on her face.
"I don't want to talk about it," Cathy replied, but the words did not come out as harsh as she intended.
"Yes, you do," Tracy said in a teasing voice. Cathy shook her head.
"Maybe some other time."
"Come on! I know you're dying to tell me," said Tracy , undeterred. Cathy attempted to snort in disgust, but it sounded more like resignation. She looked away.
Yes, she wanted desperately to talk about it. It had been truly amazing--something that she never would have believed she would do. And if there hadn't been the underlying treachery, Cathy would be talking away about it right now. But the sting was still fresh. She didn't know if she could enjoy recounting the story under that shadow.
"Which one did you do first?" Tracy asked, trying to use enthusiasm to counteract Cathy's reluctance. "Tony?"
"Dave," Cathy answered flatly. "But you probably already knew that," she added with irritation.
"And Tony watched?" the pitch of Tracy 's voice rose with excitement. Cathy nodded mutely.
Tony hadn't just watched. He watched, held the video camera and provided a play-by-play narrative.
"Holy shit, dude!" he had said. "I can't believe she's sucking your dick! Wait until she deep throats you, man! She's frickin' awesome!"
Cathy could vividly recall the wild mix of emotions that his words had evoked. She had been self-conscious to the point of being embarrassed. At the same time there was an incredible thrill and an undercurrent of fear.
The thrill was understandable enough. It was Cathy's first threesome and she found it very stimulating, particularly the way Tony and Dave talked to each other about her while she sucked their cocks. It was amazing how turned on it got her.
The fear was, at the time, just a gut feeling. It wasn't until later that she realized why it was lurking behind such a euphoric experience. Now that Cathy had discovered how much she liked having two men at once, what was next? Would she do it again? Almost certainly, if the opportunity presented itself. And she felt fairly certain Trish would make sure it did. But how long until two men was no longer enough?
It seemed likely that the thrill of two men would diminish and the temptation to add more men would arise. She had passed through a gateway and there was no going back. She would forever know that sucking off two men at once was more exciting than sucking off one. And therefore she would naturally be wondering how three would compare to two. And if she took that step, what was next? Would she eventually find herself in a room with six, eight, maybe even ten guys? All standing around waiting for her to suck them off?
Yes, it was part fantasy, part terrifying. If she had never been with more than one man, it would have been just fantasy. There was little chance of it happening and so, she could enjoy it for what it was. Now that she had taken her first real step toward it though, it had a frightening possibility of actually becoming reality.
All of that thinking happened afterward and Cathy realized it was somewhat overblown. At the time she had felt some misgivings and a low grade fear. But it wasn't until she pondered it at length later that she built up this elaborate cause.
All of these thoughts were burning up in Cathy, wanting to get out. But Cathy held them back, not wanting to reward Tracy for her part in this latest deception. A thought suddenly occurred to her.
"Have you done it yet?" Cathy asked Tracy . "Both of them?"
"No," Tracy replied. "Not yet." She looked away. "I was hoping, you know, talking to you about it would... I don't know. Help me make up my mind."
"No, you've already made up your mind," Cathy countered. "You just want me to tell you it's good and fun and you should."
"Maybe," Tracy conceded. "But..." she shrugged. Cathy waited in silence. "But if I don't talk to someone about it first, I don't think I'd ever work up the nerve." She gave Cathy a frank, open look. Cathy might have been more sympathetic under different circumstances.
"So just get Trish to fucking lie to you!" she replied, her words and tone conveying an anger that she still couldn't fully feel.
"Look," Tracy said, "I'm sorry. Yeah, it was a fucked-up thing to do. But," she added, holding up a hand to prevent Cathy from interrupting. "Admit that you wouldn't have just done it if we hadn't, okay?"
"Maybe I wouldn't have," Cathy conceded. "That doesn't make it right. And you know it." Cathy knew she should care that it wasn't right. She should care that her friends had abused her trust again and that no matter what the outcome, it was something she should not accept.
But the truth of the matter was that the offense was almost insignificant compared to the result. Cathy knew that Trish and Tracy had opened a door for her and gently pushed her through it. She might have stood on one side of the doorway all her life and never taken that step. And that step had resulted in as much pleasure as Cathy could imagine. She knew she could not maintain a facade of anger. At the same time, there needed to be some limits; some checks and balances. If Trish and Tracy were left unpunished, who knew how brazen they would get?
"Okay, I know it wasn't right," Tracy apologized again. "And I really am sorry. I just wanted you to. For you and for me," she added.
"So what does that really mean? You're sorry because you know it was wrong, but you're not because you think it worked out?" Cathy argued. Tracy 's moment of honesty that it was not all for Cathy's sake irritated her.
"I just thought it would work out," Tracy replied lamely, not looking at Cathy.
"So when is it my turn?" Cathy asked, the idea having just popped into her head. "When do I get to decide when and how to push you? And Trish?" Tracy looked at her for a long moment.
"You kinda already do push me, you know?" Tracy explained. "I mean, I'm thinking about doing stuff because of you." Even before Tracy finished her sentence, Cathy was shaking her head.
"Oh, no!" Cathy replied. "That's not pushing. I didn't deceive or trick you into anything. No, that's just encouraging you. If you had done that for me, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now!"
"Right!" Tracy shot back. "Because you never would have done it anyway!"
"So when is it my turn?" Cathy persisted, ignoring Tracy 's comeback. Tracy looked away, not answering. "See?" Cathy said, seeing Tracy 's silence as an admission of guilt. "You know you wouldn't want me pulling crap like that on you!" An uncomfortable pause in the conversation followed. Tracy eventually turned her head and looked right at Cathy.
"What would you push me to do?" she asked. Her question caught Cathy flat-footed. It wasn't a response she had expected. Not that Cathy really knew where she was going with the whole argument anyway. The whole thing was a charade that she felt compelled to carry out to keep herself from becoming Trish and Tracy 's toy.
"I don't know," Cathy admitted. "But that's not really the point. The point is that..." She paused, not sure what she was trying to say. "The point is that, if I did push you, I wouldn't tell you ahead of time." It wasn't exactly what she meant to say, but it was all she could articulate in that moment.
"Trish pushed me too, you know," Tracy said after another uncomfortable silence. "And not even to do something I wanted. It was something she wanted." She gave Cathy a meaningful look. "You really think I'd be sucking Tony's dick if she hadn't set that up?"
"That's not the same," Cathy countered. "She didn't discuss any of your fantasies with you and then set up the situation to make something happen."
"True," agreed Tracy . "What she did with me was more like coercion or extortion. You got the better deal." Cathy had never really felt as angry as her brain told her she should be. And seeing the difference between what Trish had done to Tracy and what Tracy and Trish had done to her weakened her desire to argue still further.
"So why did you let her win?" Cathy asked. Tracy shrugged.
"I don't know. But I'll tell you, that that's exactly the right word: win. I let her win."
"Is the sex so good that you compromise yourself?" Cathy asked, skeptical. "Or was it really just a push she gave you, too?"
"Well," Tracy said with a slight smile. "It isn't like I hate it, you know? But it wasn't like with you. You wanted an excuse or an opportunity. I didn't want it."
"And now?" Cathy asked. "Does Trish really keep pushing you?"
"It's kind of a sore subject," Tracy said with a resigned sigh. "She does keep pushing, but it isn't the same. She doesn't really need to anymore. The fact that she does kind of annoys me. And it really pisses me off when she tells me I really like it now."
"Well, yeah, in some ways," Tracy conceded. "And I would say as much if she didn't make such a big deal about it. It's like she's rubbing my nose in it, if you know what I'm saying." Cathy nodded.
"So you like giving blow jobs now? But don't want to admit it because Trish would gloat?"
"Something like that," Tracy replied. "Only, it's not that I really like it, okay? It's more like there are parts of it that I like, for different reasons and not always at that moment. I like driving a guy nuts like that and I like the bad girl thrill I get from it. But I hate the taste of cum, so I'm not too crazy about him cumming in my mouth. And swallowing, well, you know where I am on that!" Tracy made a face. "But the cum and the swallowing, well, it does turn me on to know I did it. I may not have liked doing it at the time, but afterwards, well, it gets me a little hot to think about it. And with the videos, well!"
"Yours are the best," Cathy blurted out, before she even realized she was saying it.
"Really?" Tracy asked, after a moment.
"Yeah," Cathy said, trying not to show the embarrassment she felt. "You were right. It's your lips." She shrugged to ward off the awkwardness she felt.
"Blow job lips," Tracy said. "Told you so!" She winked and they both laughed a little. "I like watching my own videos too. That's part of liking it after the fact, if you know what I mean. I mean, I don't like it when he's actually cumming in my mouth. But when I watch it later--damn! I think, 'Holy shit! That's me doing that!' It's weird and I can't explain it."
"Yeah, Trish said kinda the same thing," Cathy observed. "She likes to see herself doing it afterwards more so than the actual doing it." Cathy didn't really understand. She liked to watch the videos of herself too, but watching them made her want to do it again, because she loved doing it. She didn't quite grasp why Tracy and Trish would get so turned on by watching themselves do something that they didn't particularly like doing at the time they were doing it. Tracy was right. It was weird.
"So if Trish didn't insist, would you still keep doing it?" Cathy asked. Tracy looked at her and shrugged.
"I don't know. I really don't. I like the excitement of it and all," Tracy said slowly, searching for an explanation. "Being down on my knees with that big thing in my mouth. Him telling me what a good cocksucker I am. Mmm! If it wasn't for that nasty taste, that chunky goo, it would be a no-brainer. I mean, like, for the rest of the day, it's all I can taste."
"Well, can't help you there!" laughed Cathy. "So you would or you wouldn't? If it weren't for Trish, that is?"
"Hmmm... I guess I would. Maybe not as often, but I think I would," Tracy answered. "If the excitement of doing it is kinda cancelled out by the nasty taste, at least there's the video to watch afterward. And I really do get off on watching myself." She gave a self-conscious giggle.
"I still don't get that," Cathy replied, shaking her head. "You like watching yourself do something that you don't particularly like doing?"
"It's like watching a porno, I guess," Tracy seemed to be trying to explain it to herself as much as to Cathy. "And I'm the star. Maybe I'm put off by the taste or whatever, but when I'm watching, I don't experience any of the stuff that I find unpleasant. I only see the hot babe with the blow job lips sucking a big fat cock. That's hot!"
"I think the videos are fun to watch and all," Cathy answered. "But not like you guys. For me, it just makes me want to do it again. I like it when it's happening. Watching it again later is cool, but it can't compare to the moment itself."
The two women sat a moment in silence. Cathy felt a bit lost. She didn't really start this conversation with a clear idea of what she wanted to say. She had made the accusation and Tracy had admitted her guilt. Now what?
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